Reading: 2 Tim 2, 2 Samuel 11-12 and Psalm 51
Scripture: Psalm 51:7-8, Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that you have broken rejoice
Observation and Application: Todays reading in 2 Samuel and Davids reaction to being told of his sin really hits home this morning. Yesterday as I was preparing to make dinner for the family and trying to get pinterest to work being that something happened and it got logged off. I got to the point where I was cursing, swearing and screaming at the computer with my family in the room. I know that I grew up with yelling at things and sometimes hitting things being ok because they are not people or animals. I was raised with a reverence for life. My wonderful wife is trying to help but she can only go so far.
I have lived with this anger for so long that I don’t know how to deal with it, I’m going to start going to a group that is run at my church to get help as a starting place and seek help. I think I was a large contributing factor to the end of one of my marriages and I don’t want my children to grow in a home like this. We love each other but my actions could easily drive a wedge so far between us that our home would not be a place that any would want to be in. I don’t want to hurt my family or those around me. I struggle with this just under the surface and at times it seems to come out as being brusk with my coworkers and others around me, I pray that this group will be the tool that God uses to teach me to be the man I truly need to be to this world and more importunity my family.
Prayer: Father I fall before you and plead for forgiveness and direction. I need your help to overcome this anger and habits of lashing out. I thank you for my wife and children and I place them in your hands because mine are not what they should be. I ask that you help mold me into the father, husband and man I need to be to better show your love.
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