It’s not my time or should I say not my timing. God gave me
the opportunity to focus on him and my schooling for the final six months of my
school career without needing to search for work worry about finances. I had
money coming from the unemployment-training program and a lot of free time to
work on my classes. This was a great blessing and a test. As I focused on
school work enough through that time my time with God started to slip.
First it slipped in I was not spending much time in prayer
seeking him asking for forgiveness after a stumble. After a time I even stopped
reading my Bible God’s living word, the most tangible way God speaks to us.
After Graduating with my BA in early May I found out that my unemployment that
I thought would take me until some time in June ran out the moment I finished
school. I also found myself not getting up as early as I used to, and
half-heartedly listening to some of the readings for the day until one point I
just stop. I was not talking with God or reading his word. During this time I
watched TV, played video games, and searched for work.
About a week ago I started to get depressed I knew that I
was applying for lists of jobs (now days the internet makes it easy to get your
information out to employers). I was sending out so many resumes to what I
thought God had called me to do, to things I wanted, and things I though would
be fun. But the only callbacks I got were for sale jobs that were
misrepresented in the job description.
The more I put out there that more it felt that I was
unwanted and undeserving of anything that was not just a laborer (the field I
wanted out of and had experience in). The more time I spent away from God and
watching TV and playing video games the more depressed I got and the more
worried I felt about my how are we to pay our bills where are we to live and
can we afford to do any of them. With our lease on our apartment being up in
June we needed to decide if we were going to move or stay out or even go and
take care of a family member.
As I got more depressed, angry, and frustrated that God had
not given me this great job that I thought I should have after getting out of
school, my wife called me on it. I was not spending time working on my
relationship with God, had been neglecting that calling he gave me in writing
and sharing these Breezes and 2X4s. Two days ago after I had yelled and cursed
at my wife (something I should never do) she point blank asked it I have been
in the word and praying. During my job hunt I was not pursuing my relationship
with God.
Two days ago I picked up my Bible again started on a new
reading plan and talking with God again. He longs to bless us, and give us what
we need and some of our hearts desires. After spending time in prayer and
study, keeping my trust in that God will provide what we need. I got a call
about a job that didn’t seem too far away only about 30 miles so I drove out
there in the morning to my interview and evaluation testing. This drive took
about an hour driving through a large metropolitan area with lots of traffic.
My first thought was depending on my shift this may not be too bad and this is
work I can do it may not be something I love but work is work.
During the interview after the evaluation tests I mentioned
that the job was a little further out then I thought and depending on the shit
would determine if the commute would be worth it. The interviewer perked up and
said we have a location closer to where you live doing more tech support stuff
if you would be interested. This was defiantly more in my wheelhouse. After
driving back almost home I get to the location and go through more evaluations
and testing, get my first and second interviews and was offered a job before I
left their facility. I start my training on Monday working for a company
helping people when they have issues with a product that I love and would
whole-heartedly support.
My wife got to be my 2X4 this week and I am happy that she
ways she is my partner and when I am week she is strong. Always listen for the
Breeze and watch for the 2X4.
