January 28 2016 I must speak of what I have seen and heard.

Reading: Acts 4 and Geneses 12-14

Scripture: Acts 4:19, But Peter and John answered them, “Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you rather than to God, you must judge, for we cannot but speak of what we have seen and heard.”

Observation: I feel that this stuck out to me because I seldom speak out about what I have seen and heard. I struggle to so much with sharing my story and the things I’m going through face to face with anyone. I want to share but the only forum I feel comfortable sharing is here in my journal/blog.

Application: I think this is a great reminder that we are all called to share what we have seen, heard and experienced. I know I find myself falling in with the people around me and not always being the light that I should I hope and pray that the things I do point to God better then my words.

Prayer: Lord, you are amazing, I thank you for the sunrise and sunset each day. I thank you for taking care of me and my family every day and for every need. Lord I ask please help me to stand for you and lift you up each day.

January 27 2016 Share what you have.

Reading: Acts 3, Job 41-42, and Genesis 11

Scripture: Acts 3:6-7, But Peter said, “I have no silver and gold, but what I do have I give to you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk!” And he took him by the right hand and raised him up, and immediately his feet and ankles were made strong.

Observation: I know I have thought that I can’t help them or I can’t do this or that in my walk so many times. I almost always pass by people asking for help. I struggle with stepping out and sharing what I do have in Christ Jesus. Each of us are given the gifts and blessings of God though the death of Jesus on the cross. I know that growing us I didn’t think healings and some of the other things that Jesus and the apostles did were still happening in the world today being that I had never seen them. I was the type of person like Thomas who would not believe in something until I saw it with my own eyes, so how could I do anything.

Application: I need to remember that God gave me gifts and training to DO for the glory of God. I am struggling with what some of those gifts are meant for and where I am called to serve and give back to the glory of God. I am so blessed with a wonderful family and church family. But it is far to easy to sit back and wait for something to happen then it is to step out. Especially when you don’t know the direction to step. I want to go where I can best serve God but I also feel like I don’t know how and I’m insecure about what I am doing. Do for God where you are.

Prayer: Lord, I thank you for your great mercy and grace, I would be nowhere without you and I thank you for the love you pour out on us even though we don’t deserve it. Lord, help me to see my strengths and what I’m to do. I long to learn more and share what I have learned with others. Help me to see and take the opportunities that are before me.

Depressed and hurt.

Over the weekend my wife and daughter went to the coast for a girls weekend with my wife's friends from school. I was also having my men's group happening on that Friday. So my weekend starts by helping my wife load up the car and leave, as I am excited for my group and wondering how it was going to go I start cleaning the house and preparing. I had a few guys say they were coming and after about 30 min my co-host made it and it was just the two of us. We had some good conversations but it hurt that no one made it. 

This hurt got ahold of me so tight this weekend causing me to go into a depressed state. I almost didn't eat or drink anything the entire next day. All I did was sit around and listen to an audio book and play violent video games. Even though I enjoy my gaming time normally I found everything hollow I went to church and felt myself just check out. I known that we are keep our focus on God and not let this things of this world drag us down but some times things happen. 

This if what has been going on and I have fallen off the wagon and have not been spending time in the word or prayer. I let my feeling of inadequacy and feeling like I am not making a difference truly affect who I was. I am struggling with my identity as a father and husband. I have found that I need my time with God and need to dive deeper into his love and his thoughts of me and not measure God's success on the atendence of my group. I still need to find my path, I don't know what to do with the education I got. I knew I was meant to go back to school but I don't known what I'm doing with it. I struggle with not knowing and not being the man I was called to be. 

January 20, 2016 Take it away!!!!

Reading: Luke 20 and Job 30-31

Scripture: Job 31:7-8, if my step has turned aside from the way and my heart has gone after my eyes, and if any spot has stuck to my hands, then let me sow, and another eat, and let what grows for me be rooted out.

Observation: After losing everything and having his so called friends coming and trying to comfort him by saying that he sinned and that God was punishing him. I don’t know how long I could stay around people who were saying those things. Also knowing I had not done wrong and that this was not a punishment I don’t know if I would have had the grace for these men. I know I would not have had the strength to say the things Job did and not punch out these guys.

Application: I think that this scripture can be applied in that it’s a call for us to check ourselves and keep ourselves on the right path. How I read this is “if I start walking away and I follow my eyes (the ways of the world), if I become more like the world I live in, take what I have from me and give it to someone who will use it better. Stay in the word and keep good Godly council around you.

Prayer: Lord, you are so amazing, you know the hairs on my head and the number of my days. I thank you for each and every day you give me. Lord, help me to stay in your way and fallow after you all the days of my life. Help me to keep my eyes on you and your great love and mercy.

January 19 2016 And a wee, little man was he

Reading: Luke 19, Job 29, and Psalm 121

Scripture: Luke 19:5, And when Jesus came to the place, he looked up and said to him, “Zacchaeus, hurry and come down, for I must stay at your house today.”

Observation: When ever I hear or read this story my  childhood comes back to me and I hear the song that went “Zaccheus was a wee, little man, And a wee, little man was he.” As a kid we were told he was a tax collector but I never really understood the implications of that and why it was a big deal that Jesus had dinner with him. Later I found out that the tax collectors were seen as traitors and the worst type of sinner because they were Jews working for the Roman government and anything they collected above what they promised to give to Rome was their wages.  

Application: Here is what I think is the largest portion of Jesus’ ministry was. It was having meals and spending time with those who needed to be touched by the love and understanding that only God could give. We are called to love others as ourselves, even those who are sinners just as we were sinners. We were all once lost and far from God we are to share that love that God gives us with them.

Prayer: Lord, I stand in awe of your great and wonderful love. I thank you for this life you have given me to live and I want to live it for you all the days of my life. Lord, I ask you to help me to love the sinners in my life as you loved me before I knew you.

January 18 2016 God, be merciful to me, a sinner!

Reading: Luke 18 and Job 27-28

Scripture: Luke 18:13, But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’

Observation: So many times when I have read this or remember it being taught at church I have heard or thought about the story from the view of the Pharisee and how we are not to see praise from those in this world. At this time in my life I am feeling more like I am the tax collector just crying out to God for forgiveness and his mercy being I so often fall on my face and fall back into the temptations I have around me.

Application: I think this is as much about telling us that we are not to look down on others as it is about how we do many times come before God. But he calls us that way he calls us broken, bruised and in need of his loving kindness and mercy. We need to come to him offering all of ourselves and repent of our past.

Prayer: Lord, I thank you for your grace and mercy and that you extend your loving kindness to me even when I was so far from you. Lord I ask you to help me keep things in perspective, help me to honor you and share your great gifts to those around me.

January 17 2016 I am unworthy

Reading: Luke 17 and Job 24-26

Scripture: Luke 17:10, So you also, when you have done all that you were commanded, say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our duty.’

Observation: I know that I so often look for approval from those around me and want to be looked up to for the accomplishments that I have done and hear the I have done well or at least thanked for the work I have been doing. Here Jesus is telling us the we wont always be thanked or sometimes that we will be thought of in little regard.

Application: there are a couple things that I feel about this section of scripture, first is the idea that this side of heaven we may not see many of the thanks or feel worthy to have done what we have done. Second I think we are not to just do the things we are told to do. We were given the 10 Commandments and that is not enough we are to love one another as ourselves that is taking care of the needs of others. If we just don’t do the things that we are told not to do and do the things we are told to do I feel would be like the rich young ruler who said “all these I have kept from my youth what still must I do” when we have a task we need to not just do it but do it with love and to the best of our abilities.

Prayer: Lord, you are so wonderful, you have made the earth and the stars for us to enjoy and our lives to be lived, I thank you for sending your son to save me from myself and the sin I was diving into. Lord, I ask you help me to see how to be the servant you call me to be help me to do the little things so that one day I may be worthy to do more. I ask you to help me keep perspective of your calling and my wants and desires.

January 16 2016 How shrewd are you?

Reading: Luke 16 and Job 22-23

Scripture: Luke 16:8, The master commended the dishonest manager for his shrewdness. For the sons of this world are more shrewd in dealing with their own generation than the sons of light.

Observation: This at first seems so out of place in the teachings of Jesus. Jesus is praising this person that was dishonest. Looking into this a little I think that what was going on here coupled with the parable of the talents leads me more to believe that he is praising the fact that the man actually acted on the situation and didn’t just fold and say well I guess I will just give up now and take what comes to him. Just lake the parable of the talents where after the master retuned and the one with one talent had done nothing but hide the money so he could return I to the master.

Application: We are called to action and not just sit and let things happen to us. This passage that seemed so out of place to me as God praising someone dishonest when it seems more about acting on what situation was going on around you. We have all been given situations and talents in our lives that are opportunities and strengths to do things and we need to jump in and do it. Even if you are placed in a situation like the dishonest manager and everything is being taken from you do what needs to be done in a way that will honor God and not just save you. Also don’t just keep the talents that God has entrusted to you to yourself because if you are not using them they will be taken from you and given to another.

Prayer: Lord, you are so wonderful and I stand in awe of you and the power to give and take. I thank you for the gifts you have given to me, and the blessing of provisions that you have given to my family. Lord, I ask you to help me to see to the opportunities to honor you in the things I do and say I also ask that you help me be a better steward of the provisions you have given me.

January 15, 2016 Where's my goat?!?!?!?!

Reading: Luke 15 and Job 20-21

Scripture: Luke 15:31, And he said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours.

Observation: So many times when Luke 15 is read in church and by pastors they focus on the younger son who tells his dad that he wished he was dead and he wanted his inheritance now. In reading it today the older son’s story jumped out a little because of that fact. In that day if someone asked for their inheritance early as the younger son did first and foremost he is telling his father that he wished him dead and then after getting the inheritance the son would be considered dead and stricken from the family tree. With all that aside the older brother working heard for the family trying to grown the inheritance by growing his fathers wealth watched his little brother who possibility did very little knowing that he would only get a third of his families money, decided that he wanted to go play even harder. Here is the older brother now continuing to work hard thinking I get it all now when dad dies.

Application: After complaining to his father that he was a hard worker and he never got a goat to celebrate with, his father like our father in heaven says what are you complaining about it is already yours. We need to live as if everything in heaven is ours because it is. We are to be generous God loves it when we help others and as we give and share God’s love with those around us, he blesses us and we grow our fruit. We need to remember that as stewards of God’s wealth we are to do what God would do with it.

Prayer: Lord, you are so amazing providing the ability to steward your wealth and to give where you direct. Lord, thank you that you provide for all our needs, and even some of our wants. Lord, I ask for your help and guidance to better appreciate the fact that your wealth is our wealth and we need to be as generous as you.

January 14, 2016 Humbling myself

Reading: Luke 14 and Job 17-19

Scripture: Luke 14:11, For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.

Observation: Humility is something I struggle with, I think most people especially men struggle with it. I am proud of my achievement of being the first and possible only grandkid in my family to get more then a high school diploma and the obstacles that I overcame to get that degree. For these first couple years after getting it I bring it up in some ways to make me feel better then others and that is me exalting myself and not being humble.

Application: Humbling myself I need to remind myself that I am just a sinful man saved by the grace of God. Humility is not saying I am a worm and not worthy of anything because that is not the case. Humility is lifting others above yourself, at my job where at times I feel like one of the most intelligent people there but I am a general laborer and before that I was a customer service representative in a call center. These jobs can be done by and sometimes are done by uneducated high school dropouts. And my job to be humble is to honor them for what they do and not try to make them feel bad for not making the choices I have made to go to college or anything else that I could hold over them that I feel I did better. The scripture says anyone who exalts himself will be humbled or made low, I have been made low I am at the bottom of the of the totem or barrel, I’m the one that all the garbage jobs come to and I have learned that if I just do it and don’t complain I’m happier at work and those I work with like you more even if you develop authority over them.

Prayer: Lord, you are so amazing you placed the stars in the sky and gave them to us to enjoy. I thank you for the blessings that you have given me and for the mind to understand and discern the messages that I need to learn each day. Lord, I ask that you help me to continue to learn to humble myself and to allow you to lift me us to the place you have for me and not strive for that I think I need to do. I ask for direction then the plans I have been thinking about and help me to seek what you have for me.

January 13, 2016 I dropped my fruit.

Reading: Luke 13 and Job 15-16

Scripture: Luke 13:8-9, And he answered him, ‘Sir, let it alone this year also, until I dig around it and put on manure. Then if it should bear fruit next year, well and good; but if not, you can cut it down.

Observation: Reading this section I almost always think about the fruit that I bear, is it what is glorifying to God and pointing to God because people look at me and see something different and not the normal. We also have a tendency to also put weight on things that don’t need it, like works and I have heard many good people who have gotten wrapped up in the idea that they don’t have fruit if they are not converting and winning souls for God. The fruit of the spirit that we are to produce are “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control”

Application: We need to focus on the right fruit and when we have these fruit we will see the fruit of salvation of those around us. When people see us with a joy and peace that is beyond understanding in the midst of a storm, that is when people will be drawn to us and ask how can you be this way. Levi Lusko does a wonderful job showing his fruit in the middle of the storm of the loss of his 5 year old daughter. I recommend his book Through theeyes of a Lion for everyone, we all will have storms and this book and sermonseries will help prepare for it or get though it.

Prayer:  Lord, I thank you that you have helped me though my times of need that I have see thus far and I know you will continue to help me through the storms to come. You are so wonderful and nothing is imposable for you. Lord, I ask you to help me to develop my fruit, as I struggle with anger and within that anger I set go of the fruit that I have. Help me to become the man you need me to be. Help me to lead as a servant and not a dictator.

January 12 2016 Bring it on!!

Reading: Luke 12 and Job 13-14

Scripture: Job 13:13, “Let me have silence, and I will speak, and let come on me what may.

Observation: This passage stood out to me because like many I have a tendency to worry. Worry about money, about things, and about my family. My Pastor calls this future tripping, when you start future tripping your focus goes from God to the problem at hand or some preserved problem that you think may come. 

Application: We need to keep our focus on God, Job was going through some of the worst times in his life and he kept the proper perspective on God and what he had. When Job said “let come on me what may” hey is putting his trust in God and that God cares for him more then the lilies of the field. My translations to what Job said is “Bring it on, God’s got my back”

Prayer: Lord, I stand in awe of your power and majesty, you have taken time to know me, love me, and even like me even when I was the most unlikeable guy. I thank you for your love and mercy. I ask for wisdom and faith to be like Job and say what ever comes my way, let it come because I know who has my back.

January 11 2016 Help me out Bro!!

Reading: Luke 11 and Job 11-12

Scripture: Luke 11:8, I tell you, though he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, yet because of his impudence he will rise and give him whatever he needs.

Observation: Today the section taking about the impudence of the friend instead of the things that are normally talked about in this section of scripture. I’m sure we have all heard messages on the father giving a serpent or a scorpion. But today the friend stuck out to me. We are all friends to someone and are we going to be a friend laying in bed saying I can’t help you because I have all read gone to bed or I have to work in the morning. Then only helping out because it is bad manors or you are guilty for telling them no.

Application: As followers of Christ we are called to be lovers of others over ourselves. We need to be willing to help when ever possible. I know that there are times when we can’t but we need to be open to getting up in the middle of the night and go help someone. I am grateful for the men who came over and helped me rebuild my fence on New Years day, they could have said no I’m busy with this or that but they came and in the bitter cold we rebuilt a section of fence in a couple hours. Let us all, be willing to set our stuff aside and help others.

Prayer: Lord, you are so amazing creating this world and all that is within it as well as giving us a mind to know and seek you with. I thank you for the opportunity to seek you daily and bring my thought to you. I as that you help us to remember our friends in times of need not only for our help but to go and help them. help us to build margin into our lives that what ever the need we can strive to help. Don’t let us be like the friend who only helped because it bad manors to send him away.

January 10, 2016 Brag on God

Reading: Luke 10 and Job 9-10

Scripture: Luke 10:20, “Nevertheless, do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.”

Observation: I know as humans it is natural to brag about things especially for us men. “Look what I made”, “I caught a fish this big”, or my favorite (and normally famous last words) “Hey, Watch this.”  We want to show how good we are or that there is something we can do that others can’t we like to brag.

Application: Here Jesus hearing back from the 77 that he sent out coming back and going, ‘OMG, this was so awesome the demons had to listen to us when we used your name.’ Just like we would but he said ‘Yep that’s cool but don’t let it go to your hear and don’t brag about that brag about the fact that you get to go to heaven and your name is in the book of life. We need to remember that sure though the Holy Spirit and in the name of Jesus Christ we have power over demons and sickness, but that is not the coolest thing and we need to share that. We need to brag about our home in heaven and share how to get there.

Prayer: Lord, you are so amazing, you made the sun and the stars and the earth and I stand in awe of you. I thank you for another day to enjoy the works of your hands and the great blessings you have for us. Lord I ask you help me to brag on you and your great gift of salvation though your son. I want to brag on what you have done for me and not about the things you have done though me. I am a conduit not the source and I want you to have the glory.

January 9, 2016 You wont need that!!

Reading: Luke 9 and Job 7-8

Scripture: Luke 9:3, And he said to them, “Take nothing for your journey, no staff, nor bag, nor bread, nor money; and do not have two tunics.

Observation: When I get ready for even a short trip to the beach or the mountains I go and find all the things I need, the right clothes, the proper footwear, and an extra jacket if it gets colder then expected. I want to be ready for anything that could happen on the trip. Here Jesus sent out his disciples with nothing more then what they had with them. If you were asked to turn to the east and start walking that way and as you go tell everyone you meet about the Gospel. I first reaction would be let me go get ready for that trip and I will be with you in a few hours.

Application: We are called to put our full reliance on the provisions of God. Some times those provisions are though jobs and careers but some times our provisions come from places that God has worked to get it to us. Most Missionaries they go and raise money to be able to go and do what they are called to do. Others do just as the disciples were told the just go and do God’s work and the provision of God makes sure they have what they need in those places. All we have is God’s and if you are called to leave it all behind and drop it and take only what you are told to take.

Prayer: Lord, You are the great provider, you give us the things needed to serve and work in your will. I thank you for the great provision and blessings you have given to my family over the years. Lord, I ask you help me to see the things we need and leave behind the things we don’t help me to distinguish between a need and a want and put my priorities where you want them.